Mental Health Workshop for Artists - P.A.W. Print

Making Peace With Your Day Job
by Jerry Waxler, M.S.


	Click the open door to speak with Jerry

To pay the rent, you may need a day job that seems light-years apart from your creative passion. Unfortunately, resenting your day job sucks valuable energy into the vortex of your bitterness. On the other hand, if you successfully surf the waves of your emotions, you can press steadily towards your goals.

At first, such a balancing act may seem impossible. But through the magic of creative brainstorming you can find refreshing ways to adjust your attitude, and script a role for yourself that transforms your day job into an integrated component of your busy life. Like found art, turn your daily routine into a pleasing artistic concoction. Start your brainstorming with these suggestions:

Integrate the many roles of your life
The day job is one of a number of interweaving responsibilities that make up the tapestry of life. Each of our roles, such as family, health, and hobbies supports the whole. Let the satisfaction from your art sustain your spirit during your day job. And acknowledge that the paycheck from your day job makes it possible to do everything else.

Some artists and writers tolerate mind-numbing day jobs, hoping that their dreams will be satisfied at night and on weekends. But you can't simply park your soul at the door whenever you walk into work. For better results, find ways to feel whole on the job. There are all kinds of human satisfactions raining down, but to drink them you need to turn your cup upright. For example, imbibe satisfaction from serving others, from doing a good job, from the camaraderie of fellow workers, and so on. Gather energy from these less artistic satisfactions, so you feel good about yourself and are raring to go when you hit your creative projects.

You can even develop your skills on the job. Prepare for meetings by writing reports. Instead of teaching someone to do something, write instructions that can be used over and over. Write letters to customers and staff. Add illustrations to the company website. Look for ways to earn praise for doing what you love.

Make the most of your commuting time
On the way to and from work, speak ideas into a tape recorder or listen to books on tape. If you get a ride or take public transportation, write or sketch during your commute. On days when you work at home, use the time you save by pursuing your craft.

Laid off
Losing your day job may make you feel rejected, vulnerable in a harsh world, and above all, struggling with bills. If you become overwhelmed, you'll lose your creative zeal. Fight these downward pulls between jobs by writing as much as you can. Write letters to prospective employers. Look for part-time or free lance projects. Press forward on your creative projects.

Continue to learn any way you can
In addition to working on projects, hone your skills. Take night courses at community college or attend workshops at weekend writers' conferences. Courses offer advice, practice, and camaraderie that keep your mind engaged in the desire to create. Read, at night, in the morning, on weekends, on vacations. Read about your craft. Read the type of writing you want to write or view the art you want to create. Keep a poem handy, to improve your appreciation for words, and to remind you of the power of culture.

Parents, caregivers, and other detours
If you have your hands full taking care of elder parents or young children, honor your valuable role. Such responsibilities are a huge part of what makes us human. Don't skimp on your kids. They will soon be running the country. At the same time, keep a hand in your creative work. Write or draw when they are playing, and napping. Get them accustomed to seeing you create, even if it's only a little. They'll grow up respecting that this is important to you.

Pace yourself
If you rush too impatiently towards your goals, you might burn out. Instead of letting slow progress crush your desire, realize that this is only one chapter in your life. In a few years you may be in a completely different situation. To get by in life with the most poise, accept today, while actively working towards a more satisfying tomorrow.

Keep going, starting now
Here's a typical sequence that leads to frustration. When we're young we think we'll do our creative work when we retire. Then when we retire, we think it's too late to do anything new. We waste precious time wishing we had started earlier.

To fulfill your desires, start from whatever chapter you're in right now. When you are young, realize that you will be old, so get started now. If you are older, realize how many years could lie ahead. You might as well make the most of them, so get started now. Many of us will live 20, 30, or even more years after we retire. Enjoy those years by applying yourself to your creative development and productivity, starting now.

Praise is the Magic Ingredient
by Jerry Waxler

I recently spoke with an artist whose passion torments him. Because he senses that no one understands what he is doing, he feels alone, isolated by his need to create. That's too bad, because art has the power to build bridges. My eye lighted on the globe that sits on my desk to remind me how small I am, and how I am part of a very large community. I said to him, "Think about all those people. There are more than six billion of us, and we are all hungry for relief from our workaday sameness. Your insights would enrich our lives."

Of course, connecting an artist with an audience is hard. But there are tricks he can use to make it a little easier. When he sighs, "They don't understand me" he puts all the blame on them. This victimized approach leaves him powerless. With a shift in his perspective, he could realize that he is at least partly responsible for the walls that separate him from his potential audience. Instead of moaning about their lack of interest, he could expand his chances of reaching them by wondering who they are and what they want.

Artists create their own prison when they ignore what people think. These artists justify their disinterest by claiming that worrying about the audience will distract them from the purity of their creative instinct. "What business does anyone else have to say whether it's good or bad?" They do have a point, of sorts. An artist who taps into the magical reservoir of creative power can move the world. Look at Van Gogh. Despite the fact that his work flopped, it takes our breath away a hundred years later. Perhaps you would be willing to die lonely and miserable in exchange for posthumous fame but I would prefer living more like Picasso, successful in his art, and lauded in his own time.

Many artists strike a balance between pleasing the audience and pleasing themselves. But when I try to convince my artist friend of this possibility, another problem rears its head. He is so sensitive to criticism that even faint praise feels like a knife through his heart. Naturally he avoids feedback. Getting a better handle on dealing with criticism could make the audience seem less threatening, and more inviting.

Criticism is vastly overrated. It's not real. It's an illusion lingering from childhood. As children we craved our parents' approval. After a few years of figuring out what they wanted, we moved on to trying to please our teachers. We were little and the people we wanted to please were big and powerful. Asking for their approval made us feel like beggars. Now we're adults, on an equal level with those we are trying to please. But when we ask for their approval, we get flashbacks that make us feel small and helpless all over again.

To feel better about public response to your art, update your view of the world to match the way adults relate to art and culture. Their actual reactions are far richer and more complex than we're giving them credit for. To understand what might be going through someone's mind when they encounter your work, imagine the way you feel when you read a book or attend a concert. You might be struck by a chord of nostalgia, enjoying the subtle sameness and difference with other works you admire. Or you may be delighted by the spice of a stylistic device, or tickled by surprises. There are also elements you don't like. Perhaps you notice mistakes, or lack of polish, or skim over parts that don't grab your attention. Annoyances are only part of your total experience, like gnats on a pleasant summer outing. If asked to explain your reaction, a few detailed opinions come to mind, but overall the experience has far too many facets to describe in words.

Keep these sophisticated responses in mind when you interpret your audience's response. When they speak, realize they are only telling part of the story. Inside their mind, there is a mix. Intermingled with what they don't like about your work are all the things they do like.

However, despite the mix of responses, many of us have a hard time hearing praise, even when it is offered in plain language. We "read between the lines" interpreting a slight hesitation or lackluster tone of voice as evidence that they hate it. We may go even further and shut out praise altogether. When someone praises my work, I find myself automatically blocking their comment with the thought, "They are just saying that." When I'm feeling especially grouchy, I might even think their praise demonstrates a lack of insight. They obviously don't know what they are talking about! On the other hand, I'm not nearly as skeptical of criticism. In fact, sometimes a harsh, well-spoken criticism makes me feel I'm in the company of genius.

The tendency to diminish praise and elevate criticism maintains a perpetual state of tension between artists and their audiences. If we're not careful we may end up looking at our audience as a collection of smart frowning judges sprinkled with a few smiling buffoons. Such a view does not inspire our best work.

Break away from this cultural training and take a fresh look at your audience. Instead of focusing on their criticism, allow your mind to go towards the part of them that is praising you. Praise is a magic ingredient of human interaction. It can increase our energy. It makes us feel loved, known and connected. That doesn't mean we're so interested in applause we forget our inner source. Rather the inner source and the outer appreciation mix together like staircases in an Escher drawing. We can't tell where one stops and the other begins.

Don't shy away from your audience. Turn towards them, and respect them for their good sense to like you and your work. Absorb praise, as you longed to absorb your parent's love, and let it soothe one of your deepest needs; to be loved and validated by others. Find a place, deep within yourself that is worthy of that love, and let the audience's appreciation flow to that place. Your warm connection with your audience turns them into friends, and fills you with enthusiastic energy.

When someone enjoys your work, treat their input like gold. Look them in the eye, think about what they are saying, and thank them for their compliment. Their input, as simple as a phrase and a smile, is your compass, your bull's eye, your holy grail. Remember their words, their body language. They are the people for whom you are creating. Let them draw you on.

Often We Artists . . .
by Jerry Waxler

Often we artists think we have a pretty good handle on the way life really is. After all, observing life is one of our specialties. But when our observations are gloomy, as they so often tend to be in this messy world, we might feel depressed and overwhelmed. These emotions put us on shaky ground, and make our artistic task harder. If we want to succeed, we need to discover strength and joy, hidden like jewels amidst the muck of life. These uplifting discoveries shine healing light into the precious working space of our mind. This section offers quotes to nurture good feelings and ignite fires that light your way. Consider them, and let them propel your mind into new ways of looking at old problems. Let these sayings, and any other wisdom that you know, give you strength, and help you carry on.

"If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing you are the author and every day you have the opportunity to write a new page." --Mark Houlahan

The person who goes the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The 'sure thing' boat never gets offshore. --Dale Carnegie

Any form of art is a form of power, it has impact, it can affect change--it can not only move us, it makes us move.--Ossie Davis

I would love to hear your favorite uplifting bit of wisdom. Let me know if you want to share your suggestion with other artists, and I'll select some to print here.

Free-Writing Exercise

Part of the artist's work is to reach inwards and snoop around in our own creative consciousness. In amidst those artistic insights, we can also find valuable emotional supports for our journey. Within us we can find strength, joy, hope, and all the other things we need to succeed. A fabulous way to mine your mind for such insights is through regular journaling, that is, freely writing into a notebook, with no self-censoring and no care of what anyone else might think. Just let it flow and you'll discover amazing things pouring out. Be open to insights that can shift your perspective, and help you regain your direction. Free-writing is valuable no matter where you dive in. But you can influence your direction choosing a leaping off point. In this column, I'll offer suggestions that you can use to start your journaling.

Start Your Journal Here

When we're discouraged, we remember all the other times we felt blue. Our memories sweep us further into the current mood and keep us there. To feel better, instead of going along with whatever discouraging memory your mind dishes up, fight back by choosing to recall positive experiences glittering in your past. Remember times when you were happy, confident, or proud of overcoming some obstacle. These memories remind you of alternatives to your present feelings, and point in a better direction. Remembering joyful moments might be hard at first, but keep trying. They're in there somewhere. Look amidst your years, seeking moments that brought you a smile. Lightly jump past discouraging episodes and concentrate on the uplifting ones. Now write about such an episode in your journal. What were you feeling? What did you see, hear, and smell? Once you start writing, don't stop. Let your mind flow into that experience, and let the words flow out onto paper.

Even though the events took place in the past, your memories aroused those good feelings today. Allow yourself to connect with these feelings of confidence, joy, focused concentration, or whatever mental state you recalled. Consider how this feeling can help you carry on with your work today.